I Am Because She Is

Islam has empowered women with the most progressive rights since the start of times. When the role of women is highly respected and honored, how come we as a society has failed to comprehend that? I am not even talking about 18th/19th century here. I am talking about 21st century, the so-called modern world.

For a while, to put my point forward, let’s forget the progressive western world, okay? So, we (Pakistanis) enjoy the self acquired title of being the “True Muslims“. I would not go into the debate here, I would not even share how I personally find that idea so absurd but honestly, if you really believe you are the altruistic muslim figure in our society, then tell me what Sunnah or Farz are you even following properly? I know, I am no one to ask but for the sake of this discussion, I really have to probe.

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Sometimes I do feel that we as a society are going backwards instead of progressing because this is not how Islam has taught us to live our lives. Whatever happened to “respecting women”? I don’t even have to go past a mile, you know. I see and witness these things in my neighborhood how men beat their wives, how they physically disrespect them, how they emotionally abuse them and call names. What? Do you think the walls are sound proof? We brag about our daaris (beard) yet we fail to respect our very own mother/wife/daughter? Seriously, which Islam are you following exactly? Because my religion sure as hell cannot be that absurd. This is merely an example from our everyday lives. It breaks my heart every time I see women being treated so badly and the sad part is, most of them cannot even voice against it (because of lack of education/support from family/fears – God knows what).

For the people who say that we live in a very modern era and these things don’t happen anymore, I’d just say one thing. Please open your eyes, look around, observe and you will know what I am saying. You don’t even have to look too far. Have you ever tried to listen to your maid? Or your cook for that matter? These women who step out of house despite being uneducated and not possessing any skill end up being domestic workers because a) their husbands either don’t work or earn too less, b) too many kids to support. And I always get stuck at this point. When will this stop? Somebody needs to educate these women and especially their men to stop producing kids when you cannot afford to have more. All I hear is, their husband are not good to them/beat them up and cannot provide enough for their family. What is the use of bringing more responsibilities to the world when you can’t even handle your current lot? All this leads to frustration and increase their poverty level. I am sorry but that is being plain stupid. And do you know what happens in future? This same family, when the girls grow up, conforming with the dowry culture go and ask every family/house they can to collect some cash/items for their 4th/5th daughter’s marriage. I say “marriage” because this is a very common practice in our society. I don’t know about you but this has happened to us not just once but multiple times. Isn’t it better to save yourself from that humility?

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Isn’t it better to plan and have kids so you can fulfil their needs accordingly? We really need to have health care facilities which could provide basic sex education to these newly weds and even to the general adult population. The situation is even more worse in rural areas. There are so many villages without proper healthcare units to provide basic healthcare services, facilitation to married couples or pregnant women. I am not even going to quote any numbers here. We all know how mostly the deliveries are taken place at home in villages/small towns and how women face so many complications and most of them even lose the battle of their lives because there is no proper medical team or unit available.

Apart from all this, you know what is the most negligent thing? The husband, your supposedly better-half cutting you off from the decision making to become a mother again. Yes, most of the women are still not asked and rather forced to be mothers despite their worsened health conditions. There is no empathy and instead of this major change being a mutual decision from both sides, it is mostly imposed upon women because well.. she is a child bearer. I am not even talking about rural areas anymore. It happens in developed cities & in educated families  too. The decision of being a mother should come from both the parties, and firstly the importance should be given to the health being of women. It obviously needs to be checked if she is strong/healthy enough to go through this crucial yet very beautiful process.

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For once, think about her role in your life and so much that she endures on daily basis. I’d request here to everyone who is reading that please look around, try to educate people as much as you can. There is nothing wrong in talking about precautions and planning and your wife’s health should be the top priority. Being a parent is a very miraculous moment, please don’t ruin it because the society taught you to have the upper hand and do what you can to become a father. No, don’t listen to the absurd advises, don’t give in to the peer pressure, don’t even pay a heed to what others think. Please be thoughtful towards her, love and respect her as you would want your daughter to be loved & respected. Spread the same message in your community and social circle.

Empower her because she is also a human being. Let her make her own decisions, let her be happy, let her feel like a valued person. Always remember, YOU ARE BECAUSE OF HER. It’s a circle of life and you cannot ignore it. 🙂 ❤

This post has been inspired by Greenstar campaign which I recently came across & also participated to share my point of view on #NoMenWithoutWomen.

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3 responses to “I Am Because She Is

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