Weddings in Pakistan: Can Dowry Ensure Happiness & Security?

“Hamari bahu to ek gari (car), 5 Gold sets, Italian bed room aur drawing room ka furniture, 49″ HD Smart LED, Imported fridge, oven, 2 ton ka AC lekar ayi thi.” said one Mother in law to another lady from her neighborhood. “Arey wah, naseeb wali hain aap jo itni achi bahu mili hai. Main bhi apne bete k liye aisi hi ek larki chahti hun bus.”, the other woman responded.

And the woman started bragging again how much wealth she gathered from eldest son’s marriage. As sad and greedy as it sounds, this is a sad reality of majority of the women and households of our society. Dowry is truly a curse. It’s an infection which is eating the very base of our society. How women were given respect and a proper status by our beloved Prophet in those times and how they are being used by some factors today to raise their status in the society, it is disgusting to witness such practices being alive and flourishing.

I would not quote numbers here but I’d rather urge you to go and read news & articles about women being burnt alive after marriage by their in-laws. I am sure you must have come across different news of women doing suicide because they cannot take the torture endured upon them by their supposedly new mothers (in laws). A lot of families pressurize these young females to demand money or property from their parents even after they’re married. There is no end to such greed and the only reason such people still exist in our society and take advantage of our daughters and sisters is because our parents give in to these old yet outdated traditions. It’s people like you and i, who should voice our opinions and make our parents, our families understand how much of an evil this dowry system is and let go of “log kya kahaingay” mentality.

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When I say I am against Dowry, I don’t say that the girl who is leaving her family should go bare handed. She would obviously take things which are necessities. Her clothes, her personal belongings, some accessories are all right to take as long as it is not burdening her parents.ย So when a guy demands dowry, it should be alarming for the parents. This is the time when you back out.

On the other hand, I have seen examples from girl’s side making undue demands from the guy’s family. Her parents would not settle for something less than a huge bungalow, car, properties and what not. This is also incorrect and very wrong because it is a part of the same Dowry culture whereas Marriage is a sacred thing. It is no exchange or trade. Let’s not make it sound like a business deal, please.

Dowry doesn’t guarantee that your daughters would have a wonderful happy married lifeย and vice versa, a guy being a rich tycoon would not guarantee your daughter’s happiness. I know parents should look for financial stability but please don’t go overboard and greedy. A lot of guys and girls stay unmarried because their parents cannot find “that” perfect match for them. If there is anything you should look for, look for the personality, look how warm his/her behaviour is, look how humble is that guy/girl is. This should go a long way for both of them.

I can go on and on but i’d close this piece with a hope that you would try to play a part in making this dowry culture go away. Start with your own small circle of family and friends. Start somewhere. ๐Ÿ™‚ I always wanted to write on this topic but what motivated me was this video which I came across the other day on Facebook. I hope more brands come forward and spread the positive message. Instead of selling their brands to the girl’s parents, look what an amazing approach Orient took:

Check #RishtonMeinInnovationย and read how the social media reacted over this video.

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